


Vivid Dreams

by GrayJedi11



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Deceit | Janus Sanders Has Vitiligo, Deceit | Janus Sanders is a Sweetheart, Dreams, Dreams vs. Reality, Dreamsharing, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kissing, M/M, Self-Harm, Soft Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, remus only shows up for a minute lmao, the version where your soulmate shows up in your dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26486185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrayJedi11/pseuds/GrayJedi11
Summary: As you get closer to meeting your soulmate, the dreams become more vivid. Roman is very close.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 7
Kudos: 112





	Vivid Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> @chemically_imbalanced_romance beta read for me!!! go check him out, he's awesom <3

_Please let him be there._

Roman wasn’t ready to be alone tonight. Anything, even a blurred figure of his soulmate would be enough. He just needed to know that there was _someone_ who might care about him.

Janus seemed to like him enough. Roman had to love the beautiful, gentle, extravagant man who showed up to brush dreamlike soft fingers to Roman’s face. It was still a dream, however, so it severely limited their interaction. Roman barely had a guess as to what Janus’s voice was even like.

But he didn’t care. Janus took better care of him than anyone he knew in his life, and his gentle touch, even from a dream, meant the world to his touch-starved skin. Pretty words would fall from his soulmate’s lips, meant just for him. He would dance in all the ways he knew Roman loved to watch, he’d take his shoes off, lost in the invisible music and feeling of dream-leaves against his feet.

It was beautiful.

And Roman hoped Janus would be there tonight. Roman was more diligent with meetings than Janus was, but he suspected it was more because of a poor sleep schedule than not wanting to meet. But now, he worried that Janus _was_ avoiding him. That’s what everyone else did.

Roman fussed in his position, checking the time. It was only a little after ten, but it felt like it had been an eternity since he’d laid down. He pulled the blanket tightly around him as they pressed against today’s burning scars, knowing Janus wouldn’t be happy to see them.

But no matter how much Roman loved him, Janus couldn’t change what Roman’s life was.

He buried his head in the pillow, arm squishing against his face as he tried to relax. The warmth began to encase him. He took a deep breath. Janus would be there tonight. Janus had to be there tonight, especially after today.

_“Roman…”_

_It was the faint sound of a voice echoing through the dream, unable to hit his ears but still making Janus known. He wasn’t alone tonight._

_He followed in the direction of the voice, through their forest, past the clearing where soft grass tickled his feet. It was spring here, despite the outerworld being drowned in winter. He stepped through two trees that seemed to press him through themselves._

_“Roman?”_

_The sound was closer, and ebbing between real and dreamlike. It was jarring as the world kept going between deceiving him into thinking this was real and the comforting muteness of sleep. He still couldn’t see Janus, despite sensing his presence, the tingle at his fingers and chest reminiscent of dances charged with energy, fast heartbeats when you don’t need your heart beating fast, and the smug smile presented to the one wearing a blush._

_He approached the stream, using the tree as a brace to step down into the water. It weakly pulled at his ankles as he looked down in either direction._

_Janus._

_He began walking, almost running, towards his soulmate’s figure clothed in a dark cape and bowler hat, glittering scales speckling his cheek. He reached out, soft tears crawling down his face. Janus’s hand took his, and for a moment, it was as if he was home, in the outerworld, burning at Janus’s touch. But the spasm faded, going back to its gentle flow between real and dream._

_“Roman, you’re bleeding.”_

_Janus’s pained expression knew there was nothing he could do to help his soulmate. The extents of physicality didn’t reach far enough to heal real-world wounds, only those caused in the dreaming._

_Roman looked down at himself. Outerworld wounds didn’t usually make it here, it was only ever his cuts. What he found were his arms littered with red lines, old scars opened up again. He wasn’t surprised at what today had done to him._

_“Let me…”_

_Janus came closer, then pulled Roman’s hand to beckon him out of the water. The world went in and out again, and for a split second Roman could hear the chirp of cicadas in the woods._

_Janus sneaked his arms around his soulmate’s body, squeezing at the chub he so desperately claimed to love. Roman sank into the touch, feeling as if he was ghosting through it. He willed the world to become tangible again, desperate for even a moment of Janus’s warmth against his skin._

_“What’s going on, my love?”_

_Janus’s pet name sparked his heart far more than the inadequate hug. Roman nuzzled into Janus’s neck, his skin feeling as if it was made of cotton._

_“Dad.”_

_Janus leaned back, brushing his hand along Roman’s jaw._

_“Oh, love…”_

_“...I need you.”_

_Janus leaned forward, pressing his lips against Roman’s. Despite the fuzziness, the kiss was soft, and he couldn’t refrain from sinking into Janus’s light touches to his neck, his face, and his finger that traced the bumps from his fat down his side, all the way to his hip. Roman pressed into the kiss, desperately hoping he could never wake up from this._

_The world shifted, rapidly coming out of its dreamlike state so that the dew on the grass tickled his feet, so that the breeze chilled his neck, sneaking under his hair. He wondered if this was even a dream anymore._

_Janus’s lips burned against his, giving Roman a little bite to his bottom lip. The sound that came from Roman wasn’t muffled, wasn’t imagined, it was a_ sound. _Janus noticed this too, pulling away for a moment._

_Their dreams had become more vivid before, yes, but this was different. Janus could trace the cuts along Roman’s arms, and it would prick at the touch._

_Janus took his glove off and traced Roman’s jaw gently. Roman sank into it, pressing himself against his soulmate. This was real, and was so much better than the crawling loneliness in his skin, knowing he was unloved and unwanted._

_He never wanted to wake up._

“Roman, get down here, asshole!”

Remus grinned when Roman arrived downstairs. He scowled at the name, but he’d gotten used to it at this point. He rubbed his forehead, last night’s dream still swimming in his mind.

“What time is it?”

“Like, eight. I decided to wake you up because I thought you might not wanna be _too_ late. But wouldn’t it be funny if you missed the whole day?”

Roman wished he could’ve spent all day with Janus. The vividness lasted for longer than it ever had, so they’d talked and talked just for hearing each other’s voices. And Remus ruined it.

But maybe it would be vivid again tonight. He still didn’t want to be late to school.

He grumbled at Remus, returning his earlier insult and heading upstairs to get changed quickly before trudging into the bright morning sunlight, contrasting with the chill air. He pulled his jacket tighter around him. He would’ve regretted not going to the closer bus stop if Remus wouldn’t be there to annoy him.

He was sure everyone was judging him, knowing that he wasn’t one of the kids that was ever late, as he walked into school. He desperately wished to run back home and visit Janus again, although it was extremely unlikely that Janus was sleeping now.

He walked into class, trying to make himself as small as possible. Realistically, no one cared, but he worried anyway. Maybe the teacher would hate him, think he’s like his _brother._

_It’s one tardy._

Roman sat down, staring at the markings on his desk. He’d made a few of them, but most were left over from other bored doodlers. He traced along a swirly one he’d done, making a few more scratches in the wood with his nail.

“...and as you’re doing your warm-up, our new transfer student will introduce himself- yes, Jalyn?”

_New student?_

Roman pulled out his notebook before looking up and around the room for the transfer student. There were quite a few people moving about, obscuring the doorway from view. A slim body, familiar but new, meandered about behind the bodies of students. Roman craned his neck before the student slipped into the open.

Janus.

Janus caught his gaze, eyes widening, a smile growing on his face. Someone attempted to sit next to Roman, but he shooed them away. 

“Janus-”

His soulmate was actually _here,_ and he was as beautiful as he ever had been. What were scales on the left side of his face in dreams were now big splotches of pale vitiligo and heterochromia. Funny to think he’d never questioned why he’d had them.

“Roman, love, you’re _here._ ”

Roman couldn’t help but blush. “Why didn’t you tell me you were transferring?!?”

“I only found out recently, and I didn’t want you to feel worse, because I was moving, but not to you and-”

“Well, look what happened,” Roman laughed lightly. It was more surreal than their dreams.

He took a moment to marvel at Janus and his beauty. He was at his _school._ Roman hadn’t expected to actually meet him, their relationship had been confined to dreams for so long that Janus seemed almost like a mystical creature who belonged roaming in the magical forest they shared. But no. He was just a highschooler.

The teacher said something about talking, and Roman tore himself away from Janus to finish his warm-up quickly, writing a little note on the margins before pushing it towards Janus’s desk for him to see.

_Cherry Park after school. You’ll get lots of kisses :)_


End file.
